Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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