; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
