You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
