just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
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i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
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I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
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