I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize