What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
