it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
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It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
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The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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