Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
