it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
