do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
