Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize