Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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