the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Randomize
