I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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