I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
