there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
