Apparently you make a good broom.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
