I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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