He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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