OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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