We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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