Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Randomize
