Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
