so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just threw up on my dentist
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
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