new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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