What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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