He is such a slut. More and more my type.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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