So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize