Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
