My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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