It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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