help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
