Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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