In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
