So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
