Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
