I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
