im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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