She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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