and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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