well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
