He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
two words...techno handjob
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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