we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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