You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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