Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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