Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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