ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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