There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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