Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize