I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
