Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
