she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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