On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
