my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
