Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
