So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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