The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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