Sponge bath it is.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize