I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
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That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
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I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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