i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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